How is your relationship with yourself?

By Julie Mclachlan - Psychologist at Burleigh Heads Psychology & Relationship Clinic

I often find myself asking people ‘are you hard on yourself?’ and the response is often ‘yes’.

There are many reasons we can become hard on ourselves. Some of these reasons include the way our systems naturally work, or maybe it has developed from messages we received growing up. For some people this is a general day to day way of being - and for others it can happen in certain situations. For example if we think that we have made a mistake or we don’t meet our own standards or when we are compare ourselves to others (and decide that we are not as good at something as others). We can really be unkind to ourselves and research has shown that this can actually make our experience of challenges even more difficult.

There is another way…

Cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves is important to our wellbeing. This involves nurturing a deep understanding and acceptance of our own thoughts, feelings, strengths and challenges. As well as developing a deep compassion for ourselves as we go through challenging experiences. What would it be like to really support ourselves in challenging moments, like we would support a good friend? To understand ourselves, to look after ourselves, support ourselves and to take action that is in line with our values and needs? Research shows many benefits from supporting ourselves in this way including navigating life’s challenges with greater ease and reduced mental health challenges (such as anxiety, depression, stress).

If you would like to know more please contact Julie through our website